A Pandemic of Pangrams

My darling wife gave me my Christmas present yesterday, Schott’s Original Miscellany, a delightful amphigory compiled in a small tome of a mere 160 pages. Amongst its treasured leaves I found the following pangrams:

First, there's the fact that "Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz!"
This leads one to muse over the wisdom of exhibiting one's quartz sphinx's in full view of Jackdaws. The ethics of this may be investigated in a later post.

Second, we get athletic and "Jump by vow of quick, lazy strength in Oxford." I'm sure Cambridge grads everywhere heave a huge sigh of relief upon receipt of this intelligence.

Third, “Sixty zippers were quickly picked from the woven jute bag.”
I can’t think of anything to add…

Fourth, “We promptly judged antique ivory buckles for the next prize.”
This is a pickle. What are the criteria for judging antique ivory buckles? How would you award a prize and what would be awarded? What experience did the judges have and most importantly… how can Pat Robertson spin this to sound like God will strike down people who disagree with him (Rev. Robertson, that is)? Careful, response to this post may single you out for an attack of halitosis.

Fifth, “How piqued gymnasts can level six jumping razorback frogs.”
Evidently, piqued gymnasts can also engage in mass idiocy.

Sixth, we have “Waltz, bad nymph, for quick jigs vex.”
Vexing as it may be, it’s also extremely interesting to watch.

Lastly, of course, our beloved “quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.” The fox, of course represents … something deep and esoteric. I am the dog. Jumping is a metaphor for eating and brown is a blatant advertising attempt by UPS to usurp this post.
Bold.
Striking
Poignant.
My work here is done. Thank you, Ben Schott, for giving us Schott's Original Mischellany